
The girl with kaleidoscope eyes bought a double-wide. She works at the Food Lion- and wishes she’d married her ‘baby daddy’- for the child support check.
She dreams about friday night at the Red Dog Saloon. Not any friday night- ‘the friday night’ that ‘he’ would cross the threshold, buy her a beer, lay her down- and move in.
She ponders the grounds in the bottom of her cup, lights a cigarette, and kicks a piece of a long broken glass into the cold air return.
“All that glitters is not gold,” she reminds herself….
Sometimes it’s just broken glass.
Word Count: 100
Photo Prompt courtesy of Friday Fictioneers
All that glitters is probably radioactive
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I doubt she can spell that Neil……
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So stark and yet richly conveyed, Violet, and only in 100 words. So many emotions – resignation, desperation, and despair. Well done.
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Thank you D. I value your insights.
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Cleverly done, Violet – liked this a lot.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thank you so much Susan!
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A sad reality for far too many… the choices we make, eh?
Well done!
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Thank you Dale!
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Very well told – a lot is going on in this story!
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Thanks Trent. Lucy has been a very busy girl..
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As I was sitting on that boat on the river, you know, under marmalade skies and all, I though that was Lucy that I saw…
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She does hang out on the water with Benny and the Jets(kiers) when ever she can get a sitter…. hahahahah
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So, Lucy came to a sad middle. The sound of breaking glass…love the music references.
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Thanks Stu!
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Yep, life can suck like that most times.
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But when it’s good, it’s really really good!! Thanks Iain!
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Sounds as if she’s thinking about choosing another baby-daddy who will treat her the same as the first one. Sad.
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Ya never know. I wish her happiness.
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Watch out baby daddy, she on the prowl. Great painting of a sad life.
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Thank you Michael!!
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Dear Violet,
That first line is a stunner. The rest of the story doesn’t disappoint either. Lucy in the double wide without diamonds. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you Rochelle!
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It is true that all that glitters is not gold. This girls seems to be in a mess and waiting for any man to marry her.
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I think that is a very valid assumption. Thanks for stopping in.
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So much said (and skillfully left unsaid) in a few words. Her life not what she dreamed it would be. Well written!
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Thank you Brenda!
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Dreams are great until real life intrudes…
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you got that right.
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A bit of patching up, then just maybe things will turn around.
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Duct tape. I’m learning a lot about the usefulness of duct tape on this prompt.
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There are so many layers to your story and a haunting feeling of hopelessness. Beautiful and heartbreaking
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I continue to wonder if she knows any better? I guess I’ll never know.
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Loved the ‘girl with kaleidoscope eyes’. Sadly it doesn’t sound like the rest of her day-dream is quite so magical.
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I guess it’s just one of those it could happen o anyone scenarios.. It was a lot of fun to write tho’.
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Dreams, shattered. Beautiful writing.
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Thank you so much for stopping in.
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oooo, I like the depth in this one.
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Thank you Jelli
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Broken glass, broken lives. This could happen just about anywhere in the American South.
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Could and does. Thank you for stopping in.
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“a haunting feeling of hopelessness” as Piyali says. It’s life for many young women anywhere in the world. Something bothers me though. So many desperate women in our stories and so many nasty guys. Thank you for your sharp story. (from threefoldtwenty dotcom)
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You are most welcome Frankie, I thank you in return for your taking the time to read and comment.
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you have a lovely way with words – nice story!
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Why thank you Jennifer, I am so glad you liked it.
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Some choices we live to regret every day… Loved it.
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Thank you Anshu for dropping in and commenting!
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Powerful story. Great ending. Diamonds or broken glass – I don’t see any diamonds in her future, alas.
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No Margart, I don’t either. But I get the feeling she would be equally as thrilled with a good CZ….
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Great story!
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Thank you Russell!
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Beautifully done, the last line just brought it all together.
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Thank you subroto.
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I love the phrase “kaleidescope eyes.” So much going on here in few words. Loved it.
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T girl with kaleidoscope eyes is a stolen line from a song by Elton John called Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Wish I could take credit for it. I just thought everyone might like to know what ever happened to her.. Thanks for dropping in!!
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Ah! Nicely done 🙂
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Love how you worked all the aspects of broken… so many ways a human can break.
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And still be able to tell themselves it’s ok.. Thank you Bjorn.
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I love Redneck Romance, and you’ve captured it perfectly here. 5 stars from me, Violet.
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Thank you Russel for your much valued praise!
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Clever use of known phrases. Love those songs 😊
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Me too!
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you write so beautifully, Violet. A very rich story.
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Thank you so much Moon.
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Well done, Violet! You painted a picture of harsh reality and penned it superbly. Thank you for following BrewNSpew.
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Thank you Eugenia. I’m planning to try out your prompts as well..
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Oh, please do! I look forward to it. 🙂
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👍
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Good writing – felt like a novel in 100 words – the sense of place, the woman’s despair, her enduring dream. Nicely done.
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Thank you so much. I value your opinion as an excellent wordsmith.
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Funny how things come into your head when reading things , my first thought when I read your post including the phrase “the girl with kaleidoscope eyes” was the Beatles song Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
Picture yourself in a boat on a river
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.
Cellophane flowers of yellow and green
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes
And she’s gone.
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds, ah, ah
Follow her down to a bridge by the fountain
Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies.
Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers
That grow so incredibly high.
Newspaper taxis appear on the shore
Waiting to take you away
Climb in the back with your head in the clouds
And you’re gone.
Picture yourself on a train in a station
With plasticine porters with looking glass ties,
Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile,
The girl with kaleidoscope eyes.
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And rightly so. Just thought everyone might like to know what ever happened to that girl… 😉
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Wow. Vivid and very well written, Violet.
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