Pub talk

“One for the road, Henry?”

“Not for me, I’m broken.”

“No worries. You’ve bought me a beer when I was broke.”

“Broken. Not broke. I’ve got money.”

“What’s up man? Personal problems?”

“I’m not complaining. That’s not what I do.”

“Have it your way. I’ll not seek to impress you with my acute problem solving skills if you don’t want me to.”

“And I’ve got George to thank for that.”

“Whaddaya mean?’

“Are you saying it wasn’t you that advised him to get his old lady the gym membership?”

“How could I know she’d twist that around to mean he thought she was fat!”

This rather cliche piece of writing was written for Sammi’s Weekend Writing prompt: Impress in exactly 104 words and Tnkerr’s OLWG Challenge using the phrases: ‘I’m broken.’ ‘That’s not what I do,’ and ‘One for the road.’

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Beyond Cinderella

Sue Vincent’s #writephoto

“I was asked just recently if I had heard anything about whatever became of Cinderella’s fairy godmother. It was funny really, because I had just heard last week that she was still going strong at 1298. I guess that isn’t all that impressive of an age if you are a fairy godmother, but frankly, I had no idea she was that old.”

“Last time I saw her, she looked amazing. I mean, sure she had that grandmotherly look about her, but on her, it was marvelous!”

“I asked her what she’d been up to and she said she had been busy with a new client, and somehow or another the case evolved into a family affair, and it just snowballed from there.”

“At first I was just listening politely, smiling and responding in all the right places, you know like we do when we are listening to an old person rattle on about things that are important to them but have no bearing on our own lives? And then something she said about the degree of difficulty she had encountered in choosing the right shape shifting rodent to use when the stepfather requested to be sexually reassigned, and well- let me tell you, my mind went all Kardasian!”

“I mean it all started out with Kim, right? And well, her rear end is nothing if it’s not super natural! I mean isn’t it? And then the whole family affair thing, with Khloe this, and Kourtney that, and all the exes, beaus and babies? Put that together with Bruce, or Caitlyn or whatever she’s calling herself these days and- be honest- wouldn’t you? Go all Kardashian I mean?”

“Turns out, I heard her all wrong and what she said was the stepfather was charged with sexual harassment, which definitely fits with the shape shifting rodent part a lot better! But, girl please!”

“All I can say is it must be hard to find decent work as a fairy godmother these days!”

Written for Sue Vincent’s Thursday photo prompt #writephoto beyond

Sequins and heels

Crispina’s Crimson’s Creative Challenge #23

“Poor little thing. She looks so unhappy. All sad, and overgrown.”

“Can’t you just imagine her with a fresh coat of paint, maybe change the dark trim to something a little more vibrant?”

“Seafoam?”

“Heavens no. She is definitely not a seafoam kind of gal. I was thinking of something a little brighter. Maybe in between salmon and cerise?

“Gavin, dear, your crown is showing.”

“And that my darling Marcus, is exactly why you love me.”

“That being true, I’ll meet halfway, at rouge- if you’ll cut the grass.”

“Only if I can do it in sequins and heels….”

Written for Crimson’s Creative Challenge #23 and Carrot Ranch’s Flash Fiction Challenge- 99 words (no more no less).

Oops..

Photo Courtesy of Dale Rogerson

“What started off as a routine trip to the dumpster, quickly became otherworldly. The street was bathed in fading light, street lamps just coming on. Then right before my very eyes, this guy across the street blurred, and disappeared into oblivion. No amount of rethinking, rapid blinking, or telling myself he was never there can convince me I didn’t see him.”

Or maybe that’s just the best excuse I can come up with to explain why I dropped the trash bag mid stride, and ran like hell to get back inside.

After all, my IBS is nobody’s business but mine.

Written for Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers, and Go Dog Go Cafe’s Prompt Phrase: Fading light

Just Whistle

Lauren Bacall in To Have and Have Not

“If you want me, just whistle.” James said as he closed the bedroom door behind him, and wished his friend, Bobby, a good night.

‘At least I know I’m doing everything I can to help him at this point.’ James consoled himself as he slipped into a shirt and pulled his boots on.

The vicious cycle of Bobby’s wife going ballistic and throwing him out in the middle of the night had been going on for years, and ever the faithful friend, James had never turned him away when he came knocking, looking for a place to stay.

She always got over it, and the next day they were back together, just as if nothing had ever happened.

But for James, this routine was getting old.

And truth be told, he was getting tired of sleeping with Bobby’s wife every couple of weeks- but it was the only way he could get her to let him back in the house..

Written for Girlie on the Edge’s Six Sentence Story prompt word: Point and Eugenia’s Brew N Spew Cafe, prompt: Whistle