Madeleine had done everything within her power to vanquish Jeremy’s attentions. She had told him he was lousy in bed. Outed herself as a lesbian. Why she’d even gone so far as to make public folly of the size of his manhood. But the guy would just not go away.
Finally in a moment of desperation, she entered the words ‘rid unwanted lover’ into Google and paged through the search results until she found a spell that sounded like it would do the trick.
All she had to do was put her hair up like Pebbles Flintstone. Wrap herself in Saran Wrap. Stand on her tip-toes and turn around three times, while saying the magic words:
Mississippi corn bread
burning. Iron skillet shadows
cast. Sad eyes lashed
to tired yard arms. Dragons
jump o’re fiery past.
Having followed every instruction to the letter, she swung open the front door- fully expecting to find Jeremy vaporized and laying in a pool of condensation on the walk.
But no. There he stood. Just like she had left him. That ogled look of love still in his eyes.
This is my response to the photo prompt offered on Crimson’s Creative Challenge this week. It also includes the three phrasal prompts offered last week on the OLWG.
The phrases were:
- jump
- sad eyes
- Mississippi corn bread
She’ll have to use him as a coat stand 😉
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And he’d probably be satisfied being of some use to her….. Hahaha…..
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But turned to stone, apparently. Yea, I chuckled. And it had to be a Jeremy. I shall say no more of that. If I ever again have need, I shall try that spell, see if I can suss out why it didn’t work.
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Ooo! Do if you get a chance. And be sure to have your camera along as I’d love pix of you in saran wrap…….
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Yea, what exactly is saran wrap. I’m thinking it’s something similar to our cling-film
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Yep, just googled it. Is Cling Film 🙂
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Here it is a brand name. But much like Kleenex, it has come to mean the product.
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Like Australian Durex, which to us is Sellotape, cos Durex is the brand name for condoms.
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Oooo! Removal must be killer.. All those short hairs…..
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Ah, now that caused a total laugh-explosion!
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The story is great – the comments add another level. This entire page is great fun. Thank you.
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Never a dull moment when Crispina and I get on a roll… Thanks tnkerr.
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Extreme measures, but fair enough.
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Sometimes you just gotta pull out all the stops….
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loved every single word, giggled to myself looking really silly but who cares! this was really good Violet especially that magic spell chant. question? did she Saran Wrap herself clothed or naked? just wondering!
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Well, considering she is trying to rid herself of him, I am thinking saran wrap over hirsute…… Lol!!!!!
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Hmmm…I kinda got that notion too!
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Oh my gosh! This made me laugh out loud!
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Excellent! Then I consider today a success!
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I hope the spell didn’t make her fall in love with him!
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Oh no!!! I never thought about that possibility 😯
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It might have happened. 😛
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Jeremy sounds like me in high school! Loved this, especially the spell.
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I knew someone who had a hanger-on-er like that. The gal moved across the country, and finally got married – but they are still in contact with the Pain in the B___ (or were the last I knew). Why stay in contact? Because they are ‘friends’. Really could have fooled me. I finally had to say I didn’t want to know anything about the Twerp. I had no interest in him in the past and didn’t need to know how ‘he’ turned out. Some stalkers might need a restraining order.
Fun read – story and comments 😉
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Thanks Jules. I think the comments were better than the story on this one!
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i almost didnt read the spell, fearing that someone after me might vanish by mistake. very well written, loved it
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Hahaha! Wouldn’t that be hysterical? Of course I’d have no idea how to get them back!
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i took solace in the fact that i didnt read it out loud
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