It’s 3AM and I’m stumblin’ home from a Saturday night on the town. A night spent drinkin’, dancin’, couplin’ if’n you’re lucky. After all that’s what Saturdays are for ain’t it? A bit of the unbridled? A chance to slough off the chains of a work a day life, maybe even engage in a little unadulterated sinnin’ before headin’ out to church come Sunday mornin’?
It’s just me and these streetlights, but there’s a little hitch in my giddyup tonight. A little hitch that weren’t there, say a week ago, when I knew I was goin’ home to an empty house.
Cause tonight I got me a little woman waitin’ for me. One that ain’t worried about how late it is, or how much I drunk. One that won’t complain about the smell a cheap perfume, or that smudge a lipstick on my collar. One that’ll stand right there in the middle of the kitchen floor and watch me drink straight outta the milk carton, or eat a cold leg a chicken while leanin’ over the kitchen sink.
And best of all, one I know is gare-on-teed to provide a man with as much unadulterated sinnin’ as he feels he might need to get ‘em in the pew come Sunday mornin’.
Said so right on the box.
This little bit of nastiness took it’s inspiration from the three phrasal prompts offered on the OLWG #137 prompt this week. The phrases were:
- In the middle of the kitchen floor
- that’s what Saturdays are for
- just me and these streetlights
Thru Violet's Lentz 
lol It is sad that there are guys like that, but perhaps they all need a doll like that so they can leave the rest of humanity, at least the female side, alone…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well Trent you may be the only one who sees redemption here, but I thank you for that….
LikeLiked by 1 person
lol, I do like to see a silver lining, even in the most repulsive circumstance…
LikeLike
Well written, indeed. Kinda creepy though. I like it.
Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Creepy in a good way. 🤪
LikeLiked by 1 person
So glad the doll is dressed! Brilliantly done… right till the last, I never suspected. Though I did expect something, I confess my twisted mind ranged through the bestial feasts. Oops.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You know me. I could a went there…..
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed, I am aware. But, Jeez, they don’t look sexy naked do they 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
They don’t look any sexier in rubber gloves either 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s true. But like that they make me laugh. And I’ve just remembered a story once told me, claimed to be true, of a petro-chem worker stopped at customs on the way into Saudi Arabia (or was it Kuwait?) Anyway, the customs officer pulled the deflated doll from the man’s luggage and asked what it was for.
LikeLike
Fabulous! I didn’t see that coming.
LikeLiked by 1 person
How could you? It went somewhere utterly bizarre. No clue 😯
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s good when that happens!
LikeLike
lol!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My sense of humor is rarely PG….
LikeLiked by 2 people
Your blog, your rules.
LikeLike
Well written with a hilarious surprise ending 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for being here and enjoying my twisted sense of humor..
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will add my lol to the comments.*
You very much have a way with the wordationing. Enjoyable post.
*In my anticipatory defense, I will allow that I started to laugh before I read your story in it’s entirety. I got through the first paragraph (intrigued where you would take this thing) but, for some reason scrolled down to your…. illustration (?!! no, thats surely not the right term), photo prompt (err I offer the sincerest general apology for any inference, real or imagined)…. photo? yeah, I guess that’s the only halfway useful term.
In any event, I scrolled, I saw, I lol’d
Thereby demonstrating the truism that a part of us (everyone, or at least me) will never grow up.
But then, there is that old saying, “All humor arises from the un-expected encounter with incongruity.”
LikeLike
I love me some rude humor, Clark. Sometimes I even share it with the GP just to see who is paying attention…. Peeker!
LikeLike
oh Violet, yet again, your storytelling style and genius almost had me dropping my laptop!
LikeLike
That’s two clowns I’d rather not meet 😉
Well written though 😀
LikeLike
“Said so right on the box” lmao
LikeLiked by 1 person
Some people will believe anything they see in print….
LikeLiked by 1 person