Astrid dabbed the tip of each lash with just a bit more mascara, then waded through her lacquered lashes with the point of an open safety pin, painstakingly separating each individual hair until she was satisfied she had achieved a natural look.
“Well? Wadda ya think?” She turned to her best friend Becky, did her best ‘sultry eyes’ and then burst out laughing. “Oh my god. I’m so nervous!”
“Well, don’t be. You look amazing and everything is going to be fine. On-line dating is just like regular dating, well, except you probably know a little something about the guy before you get naked!” Becky teased.
“Uh! I hope your right! Okay. Lemme see. I know his name is Bud. I know he’s gorgeous. I know he drinks Southern Comfort and smokes weed. I know he’s got one full sleeve and is working on the other. Oh my god, I love tattoos!”
Bud picked laboriously at the label on his beer bottle.
“What are you so nervous about?” his buddy Jason asked. “You’re just meeting a girl you met on-line. No big deal.”
“You say that ‘cause you haven’t seen this girl. Way outta my league. Flippin’ gorgeous.”
“Well, she can’t be that hot if she agreed to meet you!” Jason razzed. “After all, you got pictures on the ad right? I mean, she knows what she’s gettin’.”
“Well, yeah, but, about those pictures..”
“Oh my freaking god! Don’t tell me! You put somebody else’s picture up! You idiot!”
“Yeah, but when I put up the ad, I had no intention of ever actually hooking up with anyone I met on there. I was just feelin’ it out, you know, seeing what kind a babes I could draw if I looked like… Well, if I looked like you.” Bud admitted sheepishly, as he busied himself further with the label on his beer in an effort to avoid having to look at Jason.
“You mean you flippin’ put my picture, on your dating ad? Jesus Christ! Now what are you gonna do?”
“Well, I think I kinda have it figured out. She’s gonna come here lookin’ for you, right? So she sees you, she comes over, we get to talking, and the whole time I’m flashin’ my tats, this girl is crazy about ink. She was trippin’ when I was tellin’ her about my sleeves.”
“What’s that got to do with her finding out you’re not me?”
“Hold on! I’m not through yet. So anyway, pull on your coat, cover up those white ass arms. That way she won’t know right away. That’ll give me time to…”
“Hold on. There he is. Why is he wearing that stupid sport coat? Dude looks like a dweeb.”
“Hey, Bud. I’m Astrid.”
“My names not Bud. Mista Inky ova there. He’s Bud.”
This piece made use of Michael’s Tale Weaver prompt: Wading and the three phrases provided by the OLWG #20.
- my name’s not Bud
- Southern Comfort and smoke
- pull on your coat
I’m posting this on my phone so I will have to link up later.
7 thoughts on “Excellent”
Mr. Inky? I love the dialogue. Nice
Brilliant. Tense and funny and … unfortunately real. And I love the photo you chose to go with it! 🙂
I got a real chuckle out of this, Violet. Wonderful twists.
Excellent piece of writing. I have to wonder how it all turned out.
Happily ever after.
All’s well that end’s well.