Labyrinth

caught inside the labyrinth,
he has learned to call his home.
he sleeps under the hyacinth,
on a mattress made of loam.

he has learned to call his home,
this tangled cement string.
on a mattress made of loam
he lies, and hears his mother sing.

on this tangled cement string,
he paints the mural of his life.
he lies and hears his mother sing,
and dreams he’s dancing with his wife.

he paints the mural of his life,
in vinegar, piss, and wine.
and dreams he’s dancing with his wife.
on gold paved streets- her living shrine

in vinegar, piss, and wine
he sways, unkempt for all to see
on gold paved streets, her living shrine
he slow dances, with his Marie.

he sways unkempt for all to see,
through the labyrinth of his dreams.
he slow dances, with his Marie,
as once more the banshee screams.

through the labyrinth of his dreams,
he weeps, thru dilated blood shot eyes.
as once more the banshee screams,
and again- his beloved Marie dies….
Photo Prompt Maze

This is a form of poetry called a Pantoum and it is posted in response to Helene at Willow Poetry’s What Do You See Photo Prompt, Maze.

Linked to dverse poetry forums call for a pantoum

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48 thoughts on “Labyrinth

  1. I enjoyed this, even the rhythm and flow! I can imagine a record on in the background, old and worn, the sound quality leaving something to be desired. I can imagine yellowed curtains, the smell of mothballs competing with the scent of alcohol. It’s a great poem!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah, your use of the form is so good — I really enjoyed the repetition and those rhymes and near-rhymes that give it a certain rhythm and adds into the desperation and misery of being caught in this labyrinthine state of mind. Very well penned!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The articulation of loss and despair. Trying to find your way forward, lacking hope and conviction. I like the wine turning into vinegar analogy. Really enjoyed reading this just for the content. I’m ignorant of poetic forms but perhaps its the repetition of the imagery that makes it so powerful.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. How brave to use seven quatrains. I got sort of lost with the rhyme scheme. Your subtle changes within the repeated lines worked too. It’s fresh and modern, though a bit strayed from classic pantoum. But I was thrilled by the energy of the words and images.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. lovely Violet! i loved it the first time and again now, i had wanted to comment if it was a pantoum when i first read but since you did not tie up the final line with the opening, i assumed you wanted a more free verse style.your rhymes are spot on though some lines are quite long and the stanza seems overdrawn, just my observation when reading out loud. i like the subject you chose, a story that weaves back to his Marie. well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well….if you were sitting beside me now, you would have heard a big woosh/sigh escape my lips at the end. I swear, I was almost holding my breath with this tale and this description. What a sad sad sad scene you’ve painted so very well within this form. My heart literally aches for this man…..and here he is, simply on my computer screen in your words. Wow! Just wow!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh! This is so sad. That poor man! I was caught up in his story. The lines flow so well, and interlocked–as you say, a labyrinth. I don’t know if this is not considered a pantoum because you didn’t end with the first line, as Gina commented, but no lines seemed too long to me.

    Liked by 1 person

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