It’s hard to find a corner in a teepee, that’s what mother used to say. What she meant was it’s no use looking, for something that simply isn’t there.
********
But it was there. She had smelled its fetid breath, as it lowered its cumbersome core upon her, filling her with its icy countenance, making it impossible for her to scream.
It had been there. And the obtuse distention in her belly made her sure- it would be back.
As she crouched silently, clutching a honed teak stake borrowed from Grandpa’s old Adirondack chair, she knew- this time she’d be ready.
Word Count: 100
Written for Friday Fictioneers Photo Prompt.
Thru Violet's Lentz 
I liked “it’s hard to find a corner in a teepee”
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Thank you Neil, it was my first thought.
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Wow, that got dark and rapey, methinks.
It sounds to me like a real monster – would you say you intended a real monster, or a more figurative one?
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I think real, although I don’t really care for the story I was playing with the items actually in the prompt today, and that was the only way I would find to use both of them..
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Oh, banged up by a night-marauding monster?
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Had to write something..
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But it was fun in a bizarre kind of way. 🙂
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Love the “corner” saying… I’ve heard it many times… counts for a hogan, too! Love it! Scary take on the prompt, though.
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I’m not thrilled with it either but my mind is geared up to write some speculative fiction soon and I’m trying to exercise that piece of my brain. Thanks for stopping by Jelli
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You created a very chilling atmosphere. Well-written suspenseful tale, Violet! I’m so glad she’s ready for its return.
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Thank you Brenda, the word constraints made this less than what I wanted it to be, but I thank you for your kind words.
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I completely understand the word limit thing and how sometimes it causes a story to take a different turn than initially intended. =)
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Dear Violet,
Whatever ‘it’ is it sounds vial and terrifying. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Really Rochelle? I thought the word constraint made it sound a bit gratuitous..
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I know you didn’t intend it as such, but it makes a powerful symbolic story about the damage done by rape, especially if it’s abuse, as seems likely here.
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Yes, I do believe you’re right penny. It could be so much more, but I wanted to be tasteful above all else..
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The use of ‘It’ shows the monster is icy emotionless creature’s . The horrendous act is subtly penned.
https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.com/2019/01/the-wigwam.html
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Thank you Kalpana, More words would have done It real justice, but we do what we can.. And I thoroughly enjoyed your entry and commented on your blog.
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Now this is a piece I would really like to see extended. It could all be mental trickery or paranormal mythology.
https://stuartnager.wordpress.com/2019/01/30/t-p-fridayfictioneers/
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Thank you Stu. I entered D. Wallace Peaches Speculative Fiction Challenge this month, and I have really been stretching myself in preparation for this months prompt..
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I don’t know anything about it. Care to share info/links?
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https://mythsofthemirror.com/
Here’s her link and she post the prompt on the first of the month and reblogs all the entries over the course of the month on the same site. Some absolutely amazing talent on this one!
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I don’t know why are you are not pleased with this, it is so well done. I’m glad she’s ready for the beast’s return (even if no one believes her)
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I just felt a little gratuitous about it after I paired it all down to fit the challenge. Thank you Dale for your vote of confidence!
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We are our own harshest critics…
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Great bit of horror fiction, terrifying!
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Sparsely done, but thank you Iain.
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Very chilling story!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thank you so much Susan for taking the time to read and comment.
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A teak stake makes me think the beast is a vampire… and if you look in a mirror it’s never there, just like that corner in a tepee
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He remains undefined but since there where Adirondack chairs in the photo prompt, that’s what we went with.. Thank you so much Bjorn for your light hearted remarks!!
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Loved the beginning. Let’s hope the monster finally gets its comeuppance.
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He will, or she will die fighting! Thanks for stopping in.
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Nice saying, “there is no corner in a teepee.” Coming back to the lady, she better be prepared for the next attack.
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I believe she will be. Thank you for reading.
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This is a very dark story. She better hit ‘it’ hard for the next unwelcome visit.
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I was thinking stab it, but a good whack might do.. Thanks for dropping in for a read..
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Excellent if rather ghastly tale.
Great saying.
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Thank you CE for appreciating this little stab into the dark side.
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Grim. Either vampire or a more figurative “monster”, they’re in for a nasty surprise.
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Constraints prohibited even me from fully understanding what It is
.. Thanks for stopping by.
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Sometimes less is more as your economy of words has proved.
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I was under the impression that it made it a bit gratuitous? Not the effect I was going for, but there is always next week…
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Your tonal change from quaint turn of phrase to lurking menace is troubling. It makes me think the monster is in her imagination, but the dastardly man,who inspired it, is all too real.
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In truth, you have thought more about him than I have!! lol I just didn’t have enough words to build a good monster. Thanks for sharing it with me tho..
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Chilling!
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Thanks for stopping in Lisa.
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I think you’ve built a very convincing monster, and made good use of the prompt.
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Well thank you Margaret! I am glad you thought so.
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Loved this. So imaginative, so graphic.
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And your worried about me? Lol! I guess we both took a hard look at the prompt. Nice.
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Eerie… I hope she knows what to expect from the monster. They do tend to come with new weapons every time. Don’t they?
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Is there a monster – a real one or an imaginary? I hope she is ready with a suitable weapon
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She’d got what was available!
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Violet, even though you’re not satisfied with your story, it is coldly terrifying. I am curious, though, about the “obtuse distention.” Were you seeing a not-quite 90-degree angle? And wouldn’t an obvious pregnancy be proof that someone or something had indeed been inside the teepee?
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Oh you are clever! I was going for the pointed peak but never thought of the teepee angle!
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I wasn’t sure if this was rape or invasion by cancer – either way, it was creepy.
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Thank you for thinking so Liz. Paired down to 150 words it is hard to decipher.
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I like this. My first thought was vampire lore. But keeping with the Native American vibe, skin-walker? Interesting.
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Your guess is as good as mine Kelley. What ever it is I just hope a teak steak will take care of it!
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oooeeer that got a bit dark. Good story.
gramswisewords.blogspot.com
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Glad you survived it Gram!
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A dark response to the prompt, but yet sadly for so many a truthful one. Great writing!
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Thanks for stopping in and commenting Susie.
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