
Photo: thommas68 on Pixabay
I’m trying something new, and I’m not sure I’ve accomplish it. It’s called a Haibun, which is an English form of Japanese poetry that includes a first person prose narrative partnered with a Haiku or a Tanka.
From my basic understanding the poem is supposed to reflect a juxtaposition of the prose theme, seemingly different, yet somehow connected.
I chose a Tanka with a 57577 syllable structure as suggested in the very informative guidelines I am quoting from here. They were made available to me on the blog of Colleen Chesebro The Faery Whisperer .
I am also putting it out there for constructive criticism by poets familiar with the form by entering Colleens Tanka Tuesday Poetry Challenge using #synonyms only for the words mystery and attract, my choices are italicized.
Here we go:
Despised Conundrum
of contentment, seduced by
Senda’s expelled sweet
plankton perfumed breath, alone-
adrift- angers salted sea.
I state my case and stand my ground. Let the sparks fly where they may. Ridgely invincible- I indignantly fan the flames. When life has become too comfortable, I set my own world ablaze, trample bridges as they burn; and from the cinders rise again..
A powerful bit of poetry about why one should never give up. Ever upwards, Violet!
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Thank you so much for your vote of confidence! Greatly appreciated.
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Wow, the ‘When life has become too comfortable, I set my own world ablaze, trample bridges as they burn; and from the cinders rise again..’ really gripped me.
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It’s empowering the first couple times it happens, but can become quite a bane on ones existence when you do it again and again and again. Thank you for being here.
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It’s so fun to try new forms, isn’t it? And Colleen makes it easy with her instructions. I’ve only seen these in reverse: haibun first and tanka second, but I have no idea at all if that matters. I read the poem both ways and loved the power!
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Colleen gave several options for placement, this was one of them. Thanks so much for commenting.
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That’s good to know. I like the option. The combination is beautiful. By mentioning Sendra, you added another layer of meaning and depth.
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She is important as her anger and her attitudes are mirrored in my own shortcomings.
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Such vivid images. I like the contrast in rhythm between the poem and the prose. (K)
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Thank you. I wasn’t sure if it was ok, but I wanted to give the prose a bit of rhythm as well..
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You did really well! I like the poem(s) very much!
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Thank you Chelsea. I thought I might have over worded myself, but for a first time out it was ok..
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Thank you Colleen for this opportunity to be featured with so many talented poets. Looking forward to another entry next week!
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